So lately I’ve been reeling in the state of depression and anxiety.
It happened quite suddenly I must say. I just fell into myself. Stopped going on social media as much. Low feelings. Isolation. Beating myself up for stupid shit. Doing weird shit that’s very unlike me. One day I went out, got a few things, and then just came home. Got in bed and just laid there in complete silence staring out the window. That went on for a good hour or so. So plenty of asking myself “What the FUCK are you doing?”
But things have been different this time around.
I haven’t been crying. I’ve been laughing at the predicaments I find myself in. The featured image is a pair of wet ass socks from a rainy day. After lugging all this heavy shit from my car, after I basically parked in a puddle, I walked through the door of my apartment and let out a soft laugh. I hadn’t got my ass up to go buy rain boots, but I bought all this stuff for my little office.
I’ve been laying in bed, but music has been helping me get up. I also didn’t hop on my pole the very first day I set it up. It’s a GREAT brand. It was installed PROPERLY. But there was all this anxiety around it. “What if it falls?” “What if I get hurt?” It had been a few months since I had been on a pole so I was anxious. I looked up some YouTube videos for moves and got on. I’ve been taking it slow and I now have a small routine I want to practice. Pole hurts. Bruises come. I love my bruises because it shows that I was putting in work.
Before I got back on the pole I started working out again. I did a yoga routine to enhance my flexibility. It also reminded me how grounding yoga can be. An entire hour of focusing on self, breathing, and flexing stretching through these poses. It’s hard for me to get my breathing together because of my allergies. If you’ve spent enough time around me then you’ve heard the jolting noise I make with my nose that sounds like a menacing snort. Sounds like I’m some evil bitch when in reality I’m just trying to clear a bit of mucus from my nostrils. Anyway, the practice left me feeling somewhat relaxed. It helped me get back into moving my body.
Moving my body and reminding myself that I’m not some useless heap of shit is how I’m fighting this. Getting back to basic things that I enjoy is how I’m turning this around. Learning how to better take care of myself and what I need is how I’m fighting this. Also that snow wasn’t helping anything. It was cute the first few times and then it just aided in my doom and gloom. I despise being cold with my very being so that may also have something to do with it.
I’ve also been reading a few books here and there so expect a couple book reviews to pop up. I’m making the time to read and a book before bed with some tea is quite lovely. I’ve also been taking some sexy bubble baths. Hot ass water. Skincare and then getting moisturized before I put on some lingerie.
Speaking of lingerie…I want to hear more from my readers on what they want. What do you want to see? What do you want to read? Let me know how I can better help you understand the world of lingerie, find pieces that you really love, work lingerie into your daily routine and not just the bedroom, etc..
I’m thinking about more in depth reviews and some video content. If you have an idea you want to talk to me about just shoot me an email. If there’s a brand out there that you think I should check out and give some recognition? Shoot me an email to check em out.
Thank you so much for reading this and be on the lookout for some lingerie reviews dropping over the weekend. I’ve missed some dates so I know I owe you AT LEAST one good decent review. Also I’ve picked the fetish for this month. Since it is Women’s History Month I’m going to do Female Domination. Voting shall resume as normal next month. You can also send me suggestions for fetishes of the month. If there’s anything you’re curious about? Let me know and we’ll put it in the running.
If you yourself are dealing with some mental health stuff? It’s okay. If you did just one thing today, that’s okay. It’s find to take a step back and figure shit out when it’s a bit much. It’s fine for your emotions to just zap and feel like nothing. (Not really, shit sucks, but it’s okay to not be okay and indulge in some HEAVY self-care.)
Love yourself. Be easy on you. Thank you for stopping by.